Starting primary school is a big step, probably bigger for parents than for kids. One minute they’re snuggling with their stuffed animals, the next they’re waving goodbye with a lunchbox in hand. It’s a moment filled with pride, worry.
So what can we actually do to help our kids make this transition smoother? Not just logistically, but emotionally, socially, and mentally? Whether your child is bouncing with excitement or clinging to your leg at the school gate, here are a few real-world tips that can help.
1. Start the Conversation Early
Long before the first day, begin talking about school in casual, positive ways. Ask open-ended questions like:
-
“What do you think your classroom will look like?”
-
“What are you most excited to learn?”
-
“Do you think your teacher will be nice?”
Avoid over-prepping or overwhelming them. Just keep the topic in regular rotation so that school becomes familiar, not foreign.
2. Validate Their Feelings
Even confident kids may feel a wave of nervousness as the big day approaches. And some won’t say it directly, they might act clingier, have trouble sleeping, or throw more tantrums than usual.
Let them know it’s okay to feel nervous. Say things like:
-
“It’s totally normal to feel a little scared. Grownups get nervous on their first day of work too.”
-
“I’m here to help you through it.”
That validation makes a world of difference.
3. Practice the Basics
If this is your child’s first real school experience, practicing some daily routines will ease the shock of structure:
-
Try putting on backpacks, opening lunchboxes, and using zippers or buttons independently.
-
Do a few “pretend school” mornings. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and “go” to school.
This may feel like play, but it builds muscle memory and confidence.
4. Create a “Goodbye Ritual”
Transitions can be tough. A consistent goodbye routine such as a hug, a high five, or a silly little dance helps your child know what to expect. It gives them something predictable in an unpredictable new setting.
It might be as simple as saying, “I’ll see you right after storytime. You’ve got this!”
5. Let Them Make Some Choices
Offering small choices gives children a sense of control at a time when everything feels new and overwhelming. Let them:
-
Choose their backpack or lunchbox
-
Pick out clothes the night before
-
Help pack snacks
The more ownership they feel, the more invested they’ll be.
6. Give a Thoughtful “Back-to-School” Gift
This isn’t about spoiling them. It’s about creating an emotional anchor. A small, meaningful gift can serve as a symbol of your support.
We’ve seen this work wonders, especially with a gift that doubles as an activity for winding down after school. One great example? A STEM building toy, like Sillbird’s robot building kit.
Here’s why it works:
-
It gives kids something to look forward to at home. After a long day of rules and routines, the creative freedom of building something on their own is rewarding.
-
It builds confidence. As they follow instructions and see the result of their work (especially when the robot moves!), they feel proud, and that pride carries over into school confidence.
-
It strengthens the parent-child bond. If you build it together, even better. It’s a relaxing way to reconnect after school, without screens or homework battles.
Sillbird’s kits are designed for kids aged 8 to 12, but even younger ones can build with help. It's a fun way to introduce problem-solving, focus, and even teamwork, all useful skills for school and beyond.
7. Talk About Your School Days
Kids love stories about when we were their age. Tell them about your first day of school: how you felt, who your teacher was, what made you nervous.
Just be sure to keep it reassuring. This is not the time to share the tale about the time you accidentally spilled milk on your desk or got lost on the way to the bathroom.
8. Set Realistic Expectations
Your child may come home tired, cranky, or overstimulated. That’s normal.
Don’t expect them to remember every kid’s name or come home grinning ear to ear. The first few weeks are about adjustment, and adjustment can be messy.
For yourself, let go of the idea that everything needs to be perfect. If you forget to pack their extra pair of socks one day, it’s not the end of the world. You’re doing just fine.
9. Build Relationships with the Teacher
A quick hello at drop-off or a short message through the school app can go a long way. When your child sees that you and their teacher are on the same team, it builds trust.
It also helps you get ahead of any concerns, before they become bigger issues.
10. Watch for Quiet Signs of Stress
Some kids don’t verbalize anxiety. Instead, you might see:
-
Frequent stomachaches or headaches
-
Trouble sleeping
-
A sudden drop in appetite
-
Reluctance to talk about school
If you notice these signs, don’t panic. Keep routines consistent, stay available to talk, and if needed, check in with a teacher or school counselor.
11. Celebrate the Little Wins
Did they make it through the week without tears? Did they remember to bring their folder home? Celebrate that! A simple 'I noticed you remembered your homework today. Awesome job!' can do wonders.
